


Andrew

by ShinMeiko



Series: Secondary characters have substance too [5]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:22:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25814257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinMeiko/pseuds/ShinMeiko
Summary: Adam wasn't out.Bram was someone else's.Clark was toxic.Damian was perfect. But Damian didn't stay.Maybe Andrew will end up finding love. Find a boy he will get to keep.Or maybe he should give up on love and focus on other things than his love life. Like the rest of his life that isn't doing so well either...
Series: Secondary characters have substance too [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1592485
Comments: 32
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Life is a series of first times that I can't wait to share with you](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18737509) by [ShinMeiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinMeiko/pseuds/ShinMeiko). 



> Yes, another project that I will take ages to finish.
> 
> Because I'm still not sure if Andrew is coming back to the main series (although if he does, I already know how and why) and we couldn't just leave him heartbroken after being dumped by Bram. He deserves to be happy too. Even if that will take a few chapters...

I put the box on the counter. There we are. I finally followed up on the ‘you should come get your stuff’ text. Now that I have ‘my stuff’, I realize that there is nothing in this box I need, or even want to keep. I’ll just bin the whole thing on my way out tomorrow.

I should have saved myself the embarrassment, really.

But then again… at least I didn’t look completely weak. Yes, he dumped me. Yes, I cried. Yes, I begged him to stay with me. But at least I was strong enough to face him with a polite smile, get the box from his apartment, and wish him all the best.

Then we both said we should stay in touch, be friends, although we also both knew that we didn’t mean any of those words.

But all things considered, I think today turned a pathetic breakup into something somewhat dignified. I think it will also help me move on.

I jump when Kate sits next to me. I swear, this girl is quieter than a ninja.

“Memorabilia from the dead relationship?” she asks pointing at the box.

“Something like that. You can also call it trash.”

“Ooooh, does that mean I can have a look and take whatever I want?”

“Knock yourself out.”

She pulls the box and starts snooping while I make us green tea. “Any chance I’ll find something sexy or creepy in there?”

“No.”

“Maybe that’s why you two broke up. Every relationship should have some dark secrets.”

“And maybe that’s why _you_ haven’t had a boyfriend in a year.”

“You know, we could solve all of that very quickly. All you have to do is become straight and I’ll marry you in a heartbeat.”

“Become straight. Why haven’t I thought of that earlier?”

“Would you? If you could?” Once again, her ridiculous ability to jump from light to serious topics in one sentence startles me.

“I don’t know. It’s not like I’m _that great_ at being gay…”

“No, no, no. We’re not doing self-pity anymore. He was just the D. You have twenty-two more goes!”

I’ve had a few relationships, but four of them truly stood out. In high school, senior year, I completely fell in love with Adam. He was sweet, had the cutest nose, was smart, and I think I was in love. It felt like it. Or maybe it was just the whole thing about being a teenager and discovering sex for the first time. He broke up with me before college because he said I was unfair for moving away. I did feel guilty at the time, but I now see that it would have been ridiculous to turn down Yale for someone who wasn’t even ready to come out.

Then came Bram. Not that we had much of a relationship. I think I knew all along that Bram still belonged to someone else. I could feel it. But I thought… I don’t know. It felt so right to be with him, and I thought that with time, it would feel right for him to be with me too. I think there were two issues with Bram: we couldn’t ever get our timings right, and he had clearly already met his soulmate.

After that came Clark. Clark was… almost like a drug. He made me feel different and I couldn’t stay away for too long. But he also made me act like a different person. I changed my hobbies for his, I neglected every other relationship in my life, I wasn’t always comfortable with what we were doing in bed but I did it anyway, I partied way more than I was supposed to, and… I think I tried to stay in this very specific light he was projecting. And he cared for me. I know he did. Until I wasn’t enough and I found him in bed with two other guys. Part of me wanted so badly to believe that it was alright. That we were young and experimenting and that being with someone doesn’t mean tying them down. But I also knew that it would have been a completely different situation if he had talked to me about it _before_ it happened. And I also had to face the fact that I wanted a relationship where even if I weren’t the one, I would feel like it.

Then came Damian. And oh my God did he make me feel like the one. Damian and I were so compatible on paper. And in life too, I guess. He comes from a family of successful doctors and he wants to become a neurosurgeon, he plays the piano, he was a very talented tennis player, we used to go to the opera together, we revised together, he was smart, fun, and charming, and the sex was out-worldly.

But then as I was applying to medical school, I couldn’t shut down this voice in my head that had been talking for years and who kept telling me that this wasn’t for me. This wasn’t the life I wanted. Sure, being a doctor seemed great, and it most definitely is a fulfilling job, but… I shouldn’t have to force myself into a life I don’t want simply because it’s what everyone expects from me. Or because it’s respectable.

That’s when Damian told me that he used his connections to get us both an internship at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. Nothing fancy. Just observing. Still. Most pre-med students would kill for an opportunity like this one. That’s when I told him that I was willing to go for the experience, but that I was going to withdraw my application to medical school, and probably take a gap year after college to figure myself out.

I’ll always remember the look in his eyes. Like I disappointed him. As if I weren’t who he thought I was. And the thing is: I sort of get that. He envisioned this ambitious power couple climbing the ladders of medicine together. But I must admit that even when I thought medicine was something I wanted to pursue, I envisioned family medicine or pediatrician.

I think that’s when Damian started to see my lack of ambition. I love music but don’t want to become a violinist. I love soccer but even before my knee injury, I didn’t want to become a professional. I love that I went to an Ivy School, but I’m not sure I want the sort of career that usually goes with that.

I don’t know if I changed or if I just accepted who I am. All I know is that in his eyes I did change and he didn’t want that version – the real version – of me.

With Adam, I thought that I was meant to be a secret.

With Bram, I thought that I couldn’t get the guy.

With Clark, I thought that I could get the guy but not the boyfriend.

With Damian, I guess that I had to come to terms that I can get all of that, just not keep it. Not if I’m being myself anyway.

Maybe I want too much while offering too little.

Anyway. Kate has been teasing me. Saying that I went from A to B to C to D, and that now I must find my E. That I am not allowed to give up until I’ve reached Z.

As tempting as it sounds, I’m not planning on dating the entire alphabet. Actually, I think it would even be better if I just stayed away from boys altogether for a while. I just graduated from Yale, I have just picked up my stuff from my ex-boyfriend’s house who is about to leave for Minnesota for an internship in one of the best hospitals in the country, and I just need to figure myself out. I can’t drown myself into another boy. Or a string of flings.

Plus, worst-case scenario, I can apparently just become straight and marry Kate…

The apartment door opens and our other roommate joins us. “It this tea? Is there enough for me?”

“Absolutely,” I answer, getting another cup from the cupboard. “How was your day?”

“It was hell. You know what? I know I gave you a hard time about it, but you might actually have been right. No one should be crazy enough to join medical school…”

Grace is finishing her second year of medical school and she took it as a personal betrayal when I told her that I wasn’t going to do the same. I think it might be because Kate and I share an interest in music (we met while performing in the Yale Symphony Orchestra), but the only thing Grace and I have in common – in her eyes – is our interest in science. It’s fine, though. I am still interested in science, and after two years of living together, we have other things to talk about than the human body.

“What’s in the box?” she asks.

“Stuff that Boyfriend D doesn’t want because it belongs to Andrew, and that Andrew doesn’t want because it reminds him of Boyfriend D,” Kate replies.

“I liked him better than the drug addict,” Grace comments, “but he still wasn’t right for you.”

“Clark wasn’t a drug addict, and I thought you loved Damian.”

“No. You loved Damian. I thought that the two of you were cute, and that it was so easy to picture you guys with a white picket fence, a dog, and three children that you would have saved from an otherwise terrible future. But you’re not that guy.”

“I’m not?”

“No.”

“What am I then?”

“Aren’t you throwing away your future so you can figure that out?” She adds a smile to silently tell me that she doesn’t actually think that I am throwing away my future. Even if I know that a little part of her thinks so. A little part of her, and one hundred percent of my mother.

I don’t want to think about my mother right now. I can only face one person I disappointed per day. But her discontent follows me everywhere and seems to be particularly tenacious when I’m feeling down about myself.

Maybe she is right. Maybe I am being spoiled and dramatic, throwing away what was perfect for me just because I am going through a late rebellious phase…

I groan. “Girls, what am I doing with my life? Damian… Medical school… It was all perfect, wasn’t it?”

“Clearly, it didn’t make you happy,” Kate comment. “And if Damian doesn’t like it… you shouldn’t have to change who you are for a guy.”

“Or for your mom,” Grace adds, inciteful.

“For anyone,” Kate agrees. “Andrew, regardless of your career choice, you’re kind, smart, funny, hot… Honestly, your only big flaw is that you’re gay,” she adds with a teasing smile.

I think this is what I need: find a way to trust those words again. I have to get to a point where I feel like I am enough. And that feeling can’t come from a guy. Actually, that feeling might never come from a guy again.

I need to get to a point where I am enough for myself because I might not ever be enough for anyone else. And that should be fine. Just as I realized that a respected, ambitious job wouldn’t bring me happiness, I have to come to terms with the fact that I might not find that through a relationship either.

“Okay, time for some me-time. I’m not going to worry about my future, I’ll just do many little jobs until something clicks.”

“As long as it pays the rent,” Grace half teases.

“I’m not going to worry about my hobbies. I will play the violin when I want to and not because I am practicing for any kind of audition.”

“As long as you keep helping me practice,” Kate tempers.

“I won’t worry about my mom. I’ll keep avoiding her questions until I have answers.”

“I would judge but I haven’t called my mother in like two months.”

“Same.”

“And I won’t worry about boys. I will stay single until I stop feeling like someone else needs to give me worth.”

“Well said,” Kate approves. “E can wait. Too many people waiting for you to sex them up for you to commit to anyone anyway…”

“Nope. Not even flings. I’m just… You know me. I could fall in love with a one-night stand.”

“So full celibacy?” Grace asks. “So you’re giving up on hobbies, family, and dating? Mate, just go for med school. Your life sounds just like mine.”

“Is it that bad?” I ask.

“The last time I had sex, there was snow outside.”

Part of me feels a bit bad for her. The other part of me remembers that the last time she had sex – and there was indeed some snow outside – happened in my bed. I have a lock now.

I look at these two girls. I hesitated before moving here. The apartment is in a former warehouse. It’s spacious but it’s a nightmare to heat in the winter, and the light isn’t equally shared between the rooms. I didn’t know Grace and she seemed very severe when I met her. I had seen Kate in the orchestra but we never really talked. The rent was cheap but I could have gotten a smaller flat on my own for not much more.

But I was looking for a place after moving back from New York and that was available and there was no time commitment. It ended up being one of the best decisions I ever made. They supported me through everything. And I gave back, I think. We have been there for each other during the good, the bad, and the boring.

And even now. I am not afraid of letting go of everything because I know they’ll catch me if I float away too far.

Yep. Those two girls now arguing about what we’re going to eat tonight are my safe place. Suddenly, I don’t feel so broken anymore. Who needs love when you have real friendship?


	2. Chapter 2

If I’m being completely honest, part of me didn’t believe that I would manage to stay away from boys. Not that I am addicted to sex or anything – although I had a few one-night stands in the past – it’s more that I’m addicted to relationships.

I was never actively pursuing them, but there always happened to be that one boy thrown into my life that I had a connexion with that I thought was worth exploring. I don’t have that in my life right now. Is it because I stopped looking around? I’m not even nervous that I missed something. I am happy that I took the time to focus on myself.

Summer. Fall. Winter is now about to start. Spring. That’s the deal I made with myself as I started to really contemplate that celibacy thing. I will start opening myself again for relationships when I see the first spring blossom. Hopefully, I will have sorted my life by then.

And when I say celibacy… there have been a couple of hook-ups. But nothing that could distract me by becoming more, although nothing with complete strangers either.

I have done a lot of jobs, too. Some just to pay the rent, but some to test a bit of everything and find out what was for me.

I have a few favorites so far. I enjoyed working in the nursing home, the family inn, the park maintenance, and the library. But the nursing home was too close to medicine and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life explaining that no, I didn’t stop halfway through med school because it was too hard to become a doctor and that I became a carer instead. I know it’s not a good enough reason not to go after something, but if that’s enough to hold me back, then it just tells me that I am simply not interested enough in the job. The inn was nice but I think it was the people I was working with more than the job, and they don’t need another full-time member of staff so I can’t even stick to it for a time. Park maintenance was really fun, but I think it was because it was a short contract. The job seemed repetitive. Maybe working in a botanical garden would be interesting, though? I should try to get a small contract somewhere like that. And the library… I liked the place more than the job. If I don’t find my calling soon, I’ll try to go back there, though. I could see myself staying there for a couple of years.

But if I gave up a career, a future, and the boy that came with it, shouldn’t that be for more than finding a place I wouldn’t mind staying in? Then again… is life the pursuit of a career? If I spend the rest of my life doing little jobs, being a jack of all trades and yet master of none, couldn’t that be enough? Couldn’t I find happiness outside of work?

But then how? I still play the violin every day, but I still don’t want to turn it into more than a hobby. I play soccer with a team weekly, but my knee keeps me from pursuing that more seriously. I have other interests but really few passions.

And I agreed that I wouldn’t let a boy define my happiness again.

So I am not idle, I didn’t come back on my decision to focus on myself, but I am still feeling lost. The girls tell me that it’s temporary, but I don’t know. It’s starting to feel like a long temporary. Especially as everyone around me seems to know exactly what they want to do and are on track for their future. I guess some days it’s just hard not to feel like a failure.

Grace sits next to me on the couch and switches off the TV.

“Rude,” I comment.

“Do you want to come to a party with me tonight?”

“Sure. I’m not working tomorrow.”

“There is a catch.”

Of course. I thought that Grace going to a party was an odd turn of events. “What’s the catch.”

“When I say ‘party’, I really mean ‘black-tie even for the hospital’.”

Oh. “Grace…”

“I know, I know… But it’s not for first years, so there shouldn’t be anyone you know there. And everyone is bringing a date. I can’t be the one sad intern who admits she doesn’t have a life. Plus you know the hospital world to some extent. I really want to walk in with a handsome smart boy on my arm.”

“A handsome, smart, gay boy.”

“Yes. Well. No one will know that.”

I’m not entirely sure what she’s asking. “Do you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend?”

“No. I’m not that pathetic. I just want you to be there so I have a friend and I can spend a nice evening and not get bored after twenty minutes. It’s just a plus that you look like that and that all the ladies and the gays will be so jealous.”

“All the ladies and the gays? What about the lesbians?”

“They’ll be jealous that I’m taken. Obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“So you’re coming?”

“My tux needs dry cleaning. Are you paying?”

“Ugh. Sure.”

“Then I’ll come.”

I pretend that I’m doing her a favor, and I don’t really want to go to a hospital black-tie event, but it’s also going to be nice to do something just the two of us. It’s been ages. I tend to do more things with Kate, or we do things as a trio. But I barely remember the last time it was just me and Grace.

Okay, I won’t lie. It does feel nice to be all dressed up. To feel like I genuinely look nice. I also oddly think that it makes me feel and look more grown-up. As if I still have no idea what to do with my life, but my clothes have their shit together.

Yeah, it’s stupid. I won’t share that idea out loud.

And Grace looks absolutely stunning. I mean, there is obviously no sexual tension there, but she is still very pleasant to look at. I understand her hinting that she wanted to walk in with someone she can be proud of on her arm, because I will feel proud to walk in there with her.

Sure, it would be more satisfying to walk in there with a hot, handsome man, but… not before spring. You know what? Let’s ignore the time frame. Not before I have figured myself out. Nope. Bad idea. What if I never figure myself out?

And what if Kate’s little banter is right? What if I really need to go through the alphabet before finding happiness? And I don’t mean finding the one, I do get that I’m just twenty-two and that life is long. I just want… a partner more than a boyfriend. And yes, I also get that before becoming partners, people need to go through the boyfriend phase first, I’m just… not convinced that I can reach that phase. Not unless I compromise a part of me.

Like with Damian. We could still be together and happy if I hadn’t changed my mind about my future. And I can’t really blame him. I changed the contract when I did so. I impacted his potential future too. Was I a fool in this? Would I be happier in med school with a boy by my side and a well-defined future in front of me?

“Are you ready?”

I am so grateful for Grace’s interruption. I can’t start spiraling again. “Yes. Let’s go.” Let’s face this life I threw away. Hopefully, I won’t regret my life choices by the end of the evening.

So far, so good. I mean… this is a nice evening. Everyone is educated, passionate, successful, interesting, the food is great, and Grace seems to be having fun. We are not tied to each other, but we regroup regularly enough that it still feels like we are here together.

But I also very much feel like I don’t belong here. I am fine being a plus one, but I don’t want this to be my life. Despite the pride they all take from their jobs, besides how fulfilling a job it might be… yeah, I still don’t want to be a doctor.

Then again, it’s not like a party was going to change my life. If I could disregard my mom’s ‘I’m so disappointed in you’ speech (line, really. She didn’t need to elaborate), I knew nothing else could change my mind.

After a really boring speech on the importance of this evening to thank the generous charities that help the hospital and celebrate the hard work of doctors and doctors to be, someone asks Grace to dance. I can tell from her eyes that she was really hoping for this moment to happen. She introduces me to Taz, who she so clearly has a thing for, and he asks me if I mind. I really don’t.

And off they go. I look for a minute or two, trying to see if there is chemistry coming from his side. There is.

I hope for Grace that she will go for this. Maybe it will help her loosen up a little bit. I know how hard she is working for school and the hospital, and I want her to have more than this.

You know… as long as she doesn’t have sex in my bed this time.

“Andrew? What are you doing here?”

I know this voice. I don’t have to turn around to know exactly who it belongs to. After all these months, how sad that a voice asking such a plain question could make my stomach clench and my skin tingle?

I turn around, already having forgotten all about Grace and Taz. And there, a few steps away, as if I needed another argument thrown in the mix, Damian, looking more dashing than ever in his fancy outfit, is smiling at me, looking surprised but smiling.


	3. Chapter 3

“Damian, hey. I… I’m here with Grace.”

“Oh. Obviously. She seems to have ditched you for someone else, though.”

“Yeah… that happens. I thought this party wasn’t for first years?”

“It’s not. But it’s not a party, it’s a fundraiser and my dad did pay a lot of money for me to be able to do some networking.”

“Ah. Nepotism.”

“Yeah. I don’t think it’s right either, and I don’t like being here, but you know my dad…”

“I do. How was the internship? Is the Mayo clinic as great as everyone says?”

“It was incredible. I really felt a calling there. I couldn’t be in the heart of things, given that I wasn’t a med student yet, but… it truly was amazing.”

“I’m glad it worked out for you.”

“It might have worked for you too. You could have taken the internship even after stepping down from med school.”

“Wouldn’t that have been a little awkward? You and me working together after breaking up?”

“Yeah, maybe. But we would have been cordial if nothing else. You know I would never have stood in your way.”

He really is handsome. I kind of want to slide my fingers in his hair. I try to shake the uninvited thought off and say: “I know. But I haven’t changed my mind.”

“I won’t lie. When I saw you here, I sort of hoped…”

“This isn’t me, Damian.”

“What is you, then? Have you worked that out?”

“Not really. My mother is pushing for law or politics now, but I’m afraid that I am not after anything that will give me status.”

“Violin?”

“No.”

“But you play so wonderfully.”

“And I enjoy playing. I just don’t want to turn that into a job. Into something I _have_ to do.”

Damian tilts his head and smiles at me. His smile is almost sad. “Just promise me that you won’t waste it.”

“Waste what?”

“That incredible brain of yours.”

I don’t know what to reply to that because I don’t know what he means. Also, I am torn between two feelings. I am equally pleased because of the praise, and annoyed that he would be this forward after breaking up with me. He is now confusing me and that is not fair.

“Maybe once I know what I’ll do, I’ll run it past you and you’ll tell me if it’s a waste,” I reply, trying – and failing – to sound challenging.

“Yes,” he replies with a lopsided smile. “You should do that.” His tone is getting playful, as if he was flirting. And I can hear it now. The way my sentence sounded like I was trying to find an excuse to see him again. But I wasn’t doing that. Damian is in the past. I know that. I made my peace with that. Didn’t I?

“Do you want to get coffee soon?” he asks. “We could catch up.”

“I thought med students didn’t have time to socialize?”

“We don’t,” he replies with an amused laugh. “But I’ll make some for you.”

I don’t know if I should feel flattered, but I don’t. “I can’t,” I tell him.

“Why not?”

“I’m not dating until spring.”

Damian’s eyebrows jerk up. For a second, I think that I might have read that wrong and that he was genuinely offering friendship. Luckily, his next sentence saves me from the shame and embarrassment of being the pathetic, clingy ex-boyfriend.

“If I can make time for you, can’t you make time for me?”

And I’m about to say yes. Of course, I’m about to say yes. That would be getting some control back over my life. Getting something back from a time I didn’t feel so lost. And Damian was never the problem.

But then I feel an arm link in mine. It’s Grace. “Damian. What are you doing here?”

“Same as you.”

“Going to a mandatory even for third-year med students? Wow. You study fast.”

He gives her one of those polite smiles we only get on our faces because it’s not polite to ask someone to get lost. “What happened to your date?”

“Actually this dashing man here is my date and I need him for a moment. He’ll find you later.”

Damian looks at me and says: “I’ll be around. And if we miss each other… coffee. Whenever. Just call me.”

I nod and turn to Grace as Damian walks away. “What do you need?”

“To save you from making a big mistake.”

“Like what?”

“Like giving shitface a second chance.”

“I thought you liked Damian.”

“No. I liked him better than the drug addict. That’s not a really high bar.”

“Clark was not a drug addict. And Damian is…”

“Damian is nothing. When you were having your little existential crisis, he wasn’t there for you. I don’t care that he’s back now and playing the ‘you’re still not a doctor but I still want to do you’ crap. Of course he got doubts seeing you. You’re the hottest person in this room. But you two will have fun for a while, and he’ll dump you for a doctor, a lawyer, an ambassador, or a porn actor. Because he cares more about social status than anything else.”

“Which status does a porn actor have, exactly?”

“Skills in the bedroom. Focus.”

“I try, but it’s really hard.”

“Andrew, I’m serious. Don’t do this. It’s a bad idea.”

“You can’t tell me who to date.”

“Yes. I can. Until spring, Kate and I control your love life, remember? And we are not giving Damian a free pass. If he’s still interested in April, then he’ll have proved me wrong and he’ll have my blessing. Until then, no funny business.”

“March.”

“Fine. March. Not before.”

We shake hands. And, deep down, I’m relieved. Because I know as well as she does that he won’t be interested comes March. Going back to Damian now would either have been a quick fuck or a failure-to-be.

See… that’s why I need the ‘no dating till spring’ rule. And more importantly, I need Grace and Kate to keep me from making rash, impulsive decisions.

Grace actually doesn’t trust me around Damian and although I think she’s overreacting, the last half hour is a point for her more than me. But she is also not ready to go. The little spark with Taz is apparently very new and she doesn’t want it to die before it can properly ignite.

I don’t think that it’s gonna be a problem. He looks like he has been waiting for this opportunity for a while too.

The three of us end up in a smaller, empty room, sitting at a piano. We are not playing, I don’t know if we’re allowed and it is an event at Grace’s place of work, so I don’t. We’re just here because they can share the stool and I am sitting on a foldable chair next to them.

Still, I can’t take my mind off the piano. Not for the reasons it should, though.

Grace kicks me. “Please, tell me you’re not thinking about him again.”

“Did you know that he plays the piano? He was academic, sporty, and played an instrument. He was perfect, wasn’t he?”

“Oh, please. He couldn’t play the piano. He knew how to do Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, and that one Beethoven song.”

“Für Elise,” I precise because even if I knew which one she meant instantly, I can’t let her reduce Beethoven to one song.

“Oh, yes, even I can play that one,” Taz says. And I know they both have a point, but…

“Hey,” Grace says gently, nudging me with her foot. “I know it confused you a bit to see him, but you can’t go there again.”

“Why?” Taz asks. “If he has that guy under his skin, shouldn’t he give it another chance?”

Yes. Maybe just a second chance. There clearly was something there tonight. And maybe if he didn’t have to move across the country for his internship, we would have worked things out last spring instead of breaking up. Wouldn’t that just be giving our relationship its fair chance?

“Andrew,” Grace tells me like she can read my mind. “If you get back with him, you will be dragged back to that life you decided you didn’t want. And, I’m sorry to tell you that, but the fact that you kept it from him until the very last minute shows that the two of you can’t communicate very effectively.”

“Yes, said like that, it doesn’t sound like you should go back,” Taz agrees.

“March,” Grace says.

“March,” I agree. I won’t be sidetracked by a piano. Seeing Damian was just confusing, I guess. It would be easier if we broke up because of something massive that made us hate each other. It would be easier if I didn’t feel like the break-up was my fault and that I owe him somehow.

To be fair, it would also be easier if Grace was helping to distract me instead of talking to Taz about med school. Then again, they are cute to look at. In their interaction, there is a shyness mixed with a desire to show off and that is very interesting to analyze.

Was I the same when I first talked to Damian? Or Clark? Or Bram? Or Adam?

Was I like this an hour ago when I was talking to Damian? I’d like to have seemed confident, but I’ll take cute over desperate…

Deep in my thoughts, I nearly jump when someone sits next to me. It’s a boy I don’t know, slightly older than me. And, even if I try not to notice, very handsome. He smiles at me and extends his hand. “Scott.”

I shake his hand. “Yeah… have we met?”

He laughs. “No. I was introducing myself. I’m Scott.”

Right… I just love making a fool of myself in front of hot strangers. “Right. Sorry. I’m Andrew.”

“Not Scott?”

“No. Yes. It’s my last name. Andrew Scott.”

“Really? How amazing: I’m actually Scott Andrews.”

“Really?”

He laughs again. “No. But that would have been cool, right? Hi, Grace.”

“Hi, Scott.”

“Taz, my man, your ride is here. Are you ready?”

“I am. Thanks for picking me up. Grace, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

There is something in his voice… And tomorrow isn’t a school day. When did they make plans? How did I miss that?

“Sure!”

“Great. And Andrew, remember, not before March,” he tells me with an easy smile.

“Grace, see you later,” Scott says standing up to follow Taz. “You too, Andrew Scott,” he adds with amused eyes, as if my name was the greatest thing in the world.

“Who was that?” I ask Graceas soon as they leave the room.

“Scott.”

“Yes, I got that part. But who is Scott?”

“Someone sounds interested…”

“Not until March. And let me guess… he’s straight?”

“No one who looks this good is straight,” she replies with false bitterness in her voice. She and Kate love playing the ‘you get all the hot ones’ card. “But to answer your question, Scott is Taz’s roommate. Or neighbor. Something. I don’t know him that well.”

My mind registers that information. I have access to that boy. He is gay. He is handsome. He seemed easy-going. And, incredibly, he did get Damian out of my mind for a while.

I hope I’ll see him again. No dating till March, though. Although… one can have fun without dating.

Grace links her arm through mine. “Don’t even think about it.”

“What?”

“He’s off-limits.”

“Why?”

“If things get awkward and it impacts my relationship, I will have to smother you in your sleep.”

“Fine. I’m just…”

“Frustrated?”

“Yes, maybe that.”

“Then go have fun with your friends, don’t go after mine.”

“Oh, like you did on the fourth of July right after I moved in with you girls?”

“You said you’d forgiven me and that we’d never speak of it again.”

“I never said that we wouldn’t talk about it again. Pete still doesn’t talk to me…”

I keep teasing her as we finally leave the reception. My mind lingers back a little, though. Most of it is on Damian. What we had together, our conversation tonight, if he’ll still be available in March… But a little bit of it is occupied by Scott’s playful eyes. I know it’s just because he’s hot and that I’ll snap out of it soon. We exchanged ten words, it’s not like he rocked my world. But still. He was nice to look at…

**Author's Note:**

> Do you want to guess who isn't going to stick to his recent resolutions? :D


End file.
